Finally, I am in a place where I think I’m ready to start applying for jobs. I feel stronger lately, and once I start working and making more money, I’ll go back on my high protein diet that helped me actually be able to function. Maybe someday I’ll be able to be a normal contributing member of society without having to be on meds, wearing braces, and all of that, but I think for now they have me at an evened out place where I can handle an on my feet job. Receptionist would be best, but who knows what I’ll find.
I started this blog so I could vent what was going through my mind. Talk about how the world is going to shit and how I want to make it better through more natural and kind methods than most people like to take. I started it to help myself, but with the hope that maybe my words could also help someone else; so I guess I’ll start with who I am.
I am a 21 year old vegetarian geek with a big heart, a creative mind, and I am a medical marijuana patient. Cannabis has helped me in every aspect of my life from social to physical, and I don’t know where I would be without it. When I was 13 years old I was diagnosed with a rare tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and I am a lucky owner of the hypermobility type!
Here’s quite a few different links in case you don’t know what that is:
Basically the overview is that our bodies just don’t really like us. My EDS personally likes to make it hard to exist sometimes. I get sick, randomly feel weak, get hurt and bruise easily, and I’ve officially gotten to the point where I can’t walk around Disneyland for a whole day without not being able to walk for days (which, let me tell you, is the real sad thing here). In high school I was a dancer and could keep my EDS under control as long as I was careful enough not to hurt myself, so I’m hoping that maybe if I find some way to work my body every day and get it used to working again, I’ll be able to keep it under control. I run my life day by day, and sometimes it gets really hard mentally, but it helps to be around my friends and to be distracted. Some days are easy, others hard. It depends 100% by how many spoons (link below) I have to spend on a specific day.
Some people insist and say repeatedly that they are not their diagnosis, but honestly, I feel like I am. EDS doesn’t define me entirely, I have a lot of other awesome qualities that do that, but my EDS is my entire life. Its a part of me that I think about and feel 24 hours out of my day, and there’s nothing else in this world that will make it go away so I have learned to live with it. It gets hard, we all have our bad days, but I think my disorder is partially why I am who I am. It makes me want to help others, not judge people, and spread kindness, because you never know what is going on with someone underneath. Zebras are everywhere you look, and there’s no getting away from them. We walk around just like everyone else, but our hearts are stronger and our wills are EVEN stronger than that, its just kind of hard for us to walk around and do normal people stuff. SO I think I’m going to end this just by telling you to always look at people with a kind heart, without judgement, and to not always assume that the hoof beats are from horses.